What boredom at work will do to you.

Well, hello there! Thanks for stopping by this barren wasteland of a blog! Look at me - I'm actually writing! It's only been six months, so not too bad considering the length my prior hiatus...

Why am I updating now? Because I'm bored at work! It's Friday. My boss isn't in the office. And I have nothing left to plan. So here I sit! Lucky you. (*snort*)

What's new with me: a lot. Especially lately - the last two weeks have been crazy.

First of all, June 6 we got married! The planning started in November when my mom showed me this venue - a fruit and flower farm in the countryside outside of Rochester. Even though I did not want to get married in NY (DC would've been so much more fun for my German relatives to visit!) the place was just perrrrrfect. And so the planning began.

I was the most laid-back bride (no bridesmaids, no bachelorette party, no bridal shower, and we requested no presents) -- up until the wedding day. Somewhere around t-minus 3 hours to the ceremony I turned into a full-fledged Bridezilla. The stress of doing all the planning (because let's be honest, Eric - his real name - didn't take sole responsibility for ANY of the planning) and then wanting everything to be just as I'd planned it made me snap. "WHY ARE THESE PLACECARDS LAYING FLAT LIKE THIS?!? WHY AREN'T THEY IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!?" Oh, because the wind blew them off the table and I put them back like this so they wouldn't blow away again.

Oh. Whoops.

So aside from being stressed out for half of the wedding, it was lovely. The weather was absolutely amazing, the food was great, and everything was beautiful. The reception was in the orchard's 200 yr old barn! We got to eat - which lots of people told me they barely got to do at their weddings. At our wedding food was the focus of the party. We didn't dance (there was just background music played from our laptop through computer speakers) - so no first dance, no father-daughter dance, no Macarena - none of it. And it totally felt right. The only thing people warned us of that came true was that it went by too quickly. It really did feel like it was over in a flash. (Oh, and by the way: because it was D-Day, the town we were in for the "after party" had fireworks that went off just as we were arriving there! It was perfect!)

(Click on the photo collage to view it full-size.)


We didn't go on a honeymoon because we'd been in NY for a week before the wedding to visit with my German relatives. We finally figured out where we're going to go - but I'll save that for a surprise as we haven't booked it yet and if I tell the internet then someone else might see our plan and book it before we can! But trust me - it's going to relaxing and lovely...and way too far away from right now. January 2010 seems like a lifetime away!

So we came right back to DC after the wedding and shortly thereafter, our dog 11 yr old Blue starting acting very lethargic. He'd suddenly seem better - and then go back to walking at a snail's pace on walks or hardly even wagging his tail (a sure sign something was wrong). After a particularly low day, we made an appointment at the vet for him - and after x-rays and an ultrasound, they told us his spleen had to come out. Um, what?

Two days later, he had major surgery to remove the very large organ (he came out weighing something like 6 lbs less). Amazingly, he recovered like a champ. They even walked him into the exam room when we came to the vet hospital that very night! The poor guy had to wear a cone on his head for TWO WEEKS while he covered - but man, did he need it. I would often take the cone off to give him a break from him and sure enough, seconds later, he'd be trying to lick the staples in his belly. (Don't get mad, I'd keep reminding myself. He's just a dog and he personally doesn't care if he's going to infect his wound.)

Three days after his surgery, we got the call from the vet that the tumors on Blue's spleen had been biopsied...and one of them was a hemaniosarcoma. Cancer. *sigh*

Here's the real kicker. A few hours later, Eric's mom called to tell us that she had also been diagnosed with cancer.

Are you f&*%ing kidding me?

Thankfully, I can tell you now that she had successful surgery on the lump on her arm (Merkel cell carcinoma) and the biopsies on her came back and showed that the cancer had not yet spread to her lymph nodes. THANK GOODNESS!

Plus, on top of that - two days before we got the news about Blue and Eric's mom, my best friend and her husband had been out at a baseball celebrating their wedding anniversary only to come home and find their apartment - which they were in the process of packing up to move into the house they just purchased - had been robbed.

And keep in mind, this was also the week that celebrities were dropping like flies - and there was a terrible, terrible metro crash here in DC.

We were reeling!

It felt like all the bad news had passed, but then we got hit again last night. My mom called to say that early yesterday morning, thieves had broken into her house while she slept upstairs. They took all of the keys by the back door and then proceeded to steal her car from the garage.

Seriously - what the hell is wrong with people?!?

All this has us really put us in the mindset of "Life is short." So tomorrow morning? A guy is coming over to our house to give us an estimate on an in-ground pool. Yes, I'm sure it'll be very expensive. But we've both always wanted to have a pool, we don't forsee moving out of the area ever - if not for a very long time, and it is really freakin' hot here. Let's do this!

I hope you're all doing well... I do check in on people's blogs from time to time, and I imagine I'll be able to do it more often now that I'm done planning the wedding and the honeymoon! The only thing left to occupy our time is our garden and dealing with the produce that's coming out of it (starting to become a full-time job at this time of year)! So here's to hoping that I will be able to update more than twice a year. See you again soon!

Sweet!

Every day, the Washington Post's free commuter newspaper asks a poll question. Last week, they asked about using gift cards -- and my response and comment were published in the paper today!

Dear Blog,

I’m sorry that I haven’t been more attentive to you lately. I’ve thought about you a lot to be sure – how could I not? We’ve been together for a long time (aside from that break – and despite what you say, we were on a break). And so I feel that I owe it to you to be honest with you.

I’ve met someone else.

Actually, two someone elses.

Friends introduced me to the first site. I think you met the site once at a mixer, actually…kinda weird, huh? Its name is Facebook.

Before I got to know Facebook, I’d judged it harshly. I thought it was for teenagers and laughed at my friends for their obsession with it. But one day, I was bored and thought I’d check it out. I mean, if all of my friends (and I mean ALL of them) loved it – and they’re fun, cool, mature people – then maybe I should give it a shot. See what all the fuss about. So I tried it.

And now I’m obsessed, too.

But it wasn’t enough for me. After the friend requests died down and the best photos were posted, I needed more. And that’s when Ruminations came into my life.

I’ve been long-time fan of its dad, comedian Aaron Karo, so I recently visited Ruminations to post my own observations about the absurdities of daily life. It has become addictive. It’s like blogging, but faster. Easier.

I know this must hurt to hear, but it’s the truth. We never explicitly said that we were exclusive, so please remember that if this upsets you.

Okay…I guess I’m gonna get going. We’ll talk again soon.

-LB

P.S. - If you want to find me over at Ruminations, I'm posting as "TaterTotz". I started as LiberalBanana but I didn't want people judging my posts based on my political leanings, so I created another username in honor of my youngest pup...

Next time, I'll just drive.

There's nothing to inspire a blog post quite like traveling on the day before Thanksgiving.

I left home yesterday morning for the painful trek to BWI airport. Just had to take a bus to a train to another train to another bus, then get on a plane, and finally get picked up at the airport in upstate NY by my father. Total flight time: 56 minutes. Total travel time: 5-1/2 hours.

So I'm wondering: Does anyone actually feel any safer after going through security in airports? In every American airport I've been to, there's always like one employee that's running the x-ray machine and looking off into space half the time, and another one who waves you through the metal detector. Then there's always like 20 other TSA agents standing around talking, laughing, and generally doing anything that does not resemble what they've been hired to do. Don't you people have a break room or someplace you could go if you're not actually working? Or are you supposed to be working? Either way, I'm annoyed.

Also - can we just stop this bullshit about not bringing liquids in your carry-on luggage? I got through security once (accidentally of course) with an entire bottle of Aquafina in my purse. Yesterday, I got nervous that I didn't have a plastic baggie to put my eye drops and 18 lip glosses into, but guess what? They didn't notice that I had them...or didn't care. I think everyone has a story like that. My brother even got through a security checkpoint once with a KNIFE he'd forgotten was in his carry-on. Suuuuper.

So once I got past the "security" checkpoint, I looked around for someplace to eat lunch. I decided to treat (and I use that word loosely) myself to McDonald's. I only eat there like two times a year and even though I know how unhealthy their food is, I have to say: it tastes pretty damn good.

When I walked up to the restaurant, there was no line. I stood about 10 feet back from the counter to read the menu, and then some more people walked up and did the same thing. Clearly, we were reading the menu. But the workers behind the counter still said, "Can we help someone?" Okay, seriously? Can you not see that you cannot help any of us at this present moment, unless maybe you're willing to read my mind and tell me what it is that I'm in the mood for today? I'm pretty sure that when I figure out what I want, I'll walk up to you and tell you. But thanks.

I ended up ordering a cheeseburger (I try not to look at the meat, if you can even call it meat), a small fries, an apple pie, and a bottle of water. When I ordered, the girl at the counter said, "Just one pie?" Yup, just one pie. And then as I handed over my money, I saw that one pie is 99 cents but two pies are just ONE PENNY MORE. Are you fucking kidding me? What is that all about? Talk about trying to make Americans fatter! Who would resist the second pie? Well, thanks to my poor salewoman of a cashier, I did. But I have to say, if she'd said, "You know, for one cent more you could get two pies" I probably would've done it!

And it turns out, the McDonald's at BWI doesn't even have a small fry. The smallest size is a medium. Oh, did the cashier mention this? No, of course not. So I said "small" and she rang up "medium" - which I then proceeded to pay for and eat. (At least I didn't have that second pie nearby, too!)

Before I got on my flight, I went to the ladies restroom. As one of the stalls became available, I started to walk into it and the woman turned back and said, "Oh, I forgot to flush it" and then proceeded to flush the handle using her HAND. Um, how many of you flush a public toilet (the kind with the big handle sticking out, not the little knob on the toilet tank) with your hand and how many of you just kick it? Because I am definitely a Kick It kind of gal. The idea of touching the handle with my hand made me gag a little bit.

On our flight, I was lucky enough to be seated in the second to last row with TWO babies sitting behind me. (With their parents, of course. One family, two babies.) Of course, the babies started crying. But then an angel appeared in the row across from me who played peek-a-boo with the kid until she stopped screaming. I almost hugged her. Thank you, angel lady.

As we were landing, it became turbulent. I looked up from my book because I was getting nauseous and then noticed that a woman in the row in front of me was viewing web pages on her cell phone. Um, hi. Have you never flown before? Did you not hear the "turn off all electronic devices" announcement? If we crash and I survive, I am going to blame it on your goddamn BlackBerry interfering with the plane's navigational systems. The pilot was probably like, "It says here that we should turn south-southwest at the corner of....Piperlime? I don't see that on the map....Oh dear god!" And it would be all your fault, lady.

Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!

What would you do with $20,000?

After a bit of online research during my lunch break on Friday, I found a really cool place to get married in Virginia.

Their site rental fee seemed reasonable.

I got very excited.

And then I did something very stupid: I asked for more pricing information from the event planning company that works with that venue.

All of my dreams were promptly crushed.

Clearly, I'm completely naïve about how much these sorts of things cost. Because, seriously - $18,000 for the "bare minimum"? For ONE AFTERNOON? And most brides in this area have a budget of at least $30,000? Are you f^&*ing kidding me?!?

Doesn't it cross their minds that they could be doing a lot of other stuff with a chunk of change that large? It certainly crosses my mind.

Over and over and over.

I have a second, interest-only mortgage loan that allowed me to purchase my condo in 2004. I could pay it off entirely with a wad of cash that huge.

We could go on a lot of kick-ass vacations.

It might even pay for a few more of Tater's trips to the goddamned vet because of his skin issues. (Although on second thought, that probably wouldn't be enough. Overcharging bastards.)

I know, I know: But it's your special day! It'll only happen once in your life (hopefully)!

Well you know what? I don't care. Wedding industry, you can suck it. Even though I'd love to have a pretty pretty party, I am officially giving you the middle finger. Picnic in the park, here we come. We'll buy the booze, you bring a dish to share. Mother Nature, you provide the decorations.

Look out for the Evite, coming soon to an inbox near you.