Contemplations on the Blogging Thing.

WARNING: This is pretty long and rambling so if you get all the way through it, you should probably get a medal or a cookie or something. Unfortunately, I don't have any to give out so you'll have to proceed at your own risk.

I've been in a funk ever since my vacation in Colorado. I think it may have been the hair color/style trauma that started off my bad mood. (I am still bitter about my new haircut even though Boyfriend says he loves it.)

More importantly though, the Colorado trip was when my blog writing/reading ceased for 11 whole days. I've been digging out from under the pile of blogs that I needed to catch up on and am finally emerging victorious on the other side.

But something just doesn't feel right.

I don't have anything to write about these days. Or rather, nothing inspires me anymore. I used to go through my day saying "OOH! I'm totally writing about that today!" and then a few hours later I'd say "OOH - and I'll write about this tomorrow!" I found either amusement or anger in the littlest things. I had an opinion on everything.

After starting this site last November, I used it as an outlet for my frustrations. As more and more people started to read the site, my excitement and enthusiasm for it grew. I was surprised when people told me that I was a good writer; I am still so flattered by those comments, thank you!

Recently though, I've become overwhelmed with the ever-growing number of blogs out there. There's so much to read! Why would someone read my site? I don't have a baby or even a cute pet to write stories about or to post pictures of. And even when I do (have a dog - no babies better be in this girl's future), why should you spend part of your day reading it?

(I'm not fishing for compliments here, just thinking about what kinds of things people give their time to each day.)

Not to say that blogs are a waste of anyone's day by any means. Parenting blogs are great for parents because they can share stories, ask for advice, and learn from each other. Personal blogs are great for keeping in touch with friends and family.

I am also exhausted by the amount of effort I'm putting into reading other sites every day. There are 58 blogs in my Bloglines account and sometimes it feels like homework. If I don't comment on other people's sites, they seem to forget that I exist. So I go. I read. I comment. As any regular blogger knows, there are blogs that you read because you really enjoy the way the other person writes and then there are other sites that you visit...I don't know why. So that they don't forget about you?

Is it just me or do we all do this to an extent?

Of course, there are plenty of bloggers out there who don't give a flying f*ck about the reciprocal commenting thing. They write what they want to write and if people comment or they don't, they don't really care. This frees them to read and comment (or not) on whatever sites they want to. But I DO want comments and I DO want to at least try to read all of my commenters' sites. Or at least I did. Now I'm wondering why I've allowed myself to become stressed out by something that is supposed to be a release. In the end, I'm really the one that has caused myself to feel overwhelmed and I'm finally asking myself: Why?

Even though it's fun to write and fun to get feedback on what's going on in my life, why should I bother putting it out there? Why should people read it? Why should I force myself to keep up with what's going on in strangers' lives?

Of course, I still plan on reading SOME sites. I mean, I can't just drop off of the face of the internet. But do I think I should channel my energy in new ways.

Without blogging, I'll have extra hours in each day where I can be, oh, I don't know...Working? Cleaning? Something. I have no doubt I'll be able to fill the time.

I also know that I'll miss it, but I feel like this is something that I need to do. And right after I've finally finished my sweet-ass template redesign! That's a bit of a bummer. Nonetheless, I think it's the right decision for me.

Note: I'm not going to say "the right decision for me right now" because there's nothing that I find more annoy than a drama queen blogger who says "I quit" and then comes back two days later. That will not be me.

I have met so many wonderful people through this crazy rollercoaster ride of a provider called Blogger and I want to thank all of you for the time that you've spent at The Liberal Banana. Your comments have made me smile for 10 whole months now and I will cherish those good times for a long time to come.

Thank you all for the support and friendship...You rock.

Later gators!

An Ode to Autumn

No spring nor summer beauty
hath such grace
As I have seen in one autumnal face.
~John Donne

I can't tell you how excited I am that fall is here.

Wait. Yes I can!

I am SO FREAKIN' EXCITED that fall is here.

For me, fall was an exciting time even as a child. I'd look forward to going back to school shopping because hey, it's shopping! New stuff! (I haven't changed a bit.)

I'd run over my hand over my newly aquired, smooth, perfect folders and vow to keep them that way all year. I would spend the first days of class carefully placing each handout in its corresponding folder, keeping track of any assignments in a little planner.

Needless to say, that level of organization never lasted past the first week or two.

More importantly than school supplies, fall meant the purchase of new articles of clothing. As a child, I'm sure it was more out of necessity than fashion, but as I got into high school and stopped growing, I used the money I made from my sweet job at Old Country Buffet (see my April archives for all 4 job posts) to add more pieces to my wardrobe for no other reason than because new clothes rock and gimme gimme gimme.

(Too bad I didn't have any real concept of fashion and ended up with too many oversized tops and pairs of canvas sneakers. I should also note that no one aside from farmers should wear overalls, myself included. Yikes.)

These days, I hope that my fashion tastes have become a bit more refined. Fall's cooler air gives me a chance to start dressing in layers again - a look that suits anyone. I load up on browns and burnt oranges, break out the boots (pointy-toed with heels, not the snow-shoveling kind), and the cozy sweaters.

Aside from the incredibly gorgeous scenery that can be found in this area of the country during this time of year, autumn is also a time for some of my other favorite things. (I'm channeling Julie Andrews right now.)

• Pumpkin spice lattes from Starbuckies
• Pumpkin scented candles
• Pumpkin pie
• Okay, anything pumpkin-related
• Cider, preferably coupled with a plain or cinnamon cake donut
• Warm drinks, especially while sitting in front of a fire

(For the record, I tried to put those things into some "Sound of Music"-esque lyrics and um, yeah. Not gonna happen.)

So what's your favorite season?

Nothing justifies killing another human being.

I am happy if religion gives someone hope. But when people die fighting over their beliefs, over who is "right," I hate it. Why can we not all agree to disagree? You can believe in any god you want to - or in none at all - whatever makes you happy. It is when people take it upon themselves to physically harm others who do not choose to believe in the same things that they do that I find completely unacceptable.

Thank you, America, for allowing me the freedom to believe or not believe in whatever religion I choose.

Here are some photos from when I was in New York City in January 2003.

Newflash: "Nicold" goes into hiding for 30 whole minutes.

(Washington, DC) Boyfriend sees alter-ego of Always-Cold Girlfriend and decides that the original version is not so bad after all.

I think I may have had my first hot flash this morning at the ripe old age of 26-1/2.

What I have previously called "Uncontrollable Sweating Mode" was transformed into a monster this morning and I have decided that it is due to my upcoming Girlie Flu. (Too much information?) When I got onto the bus, I was like a polar bear in Death Valley in July. I was a lobster after it's already been thrown into the pot. I was like one of those dudes on The Biggest Loser after walking up three flights of stairs.

I took off my light fall jacket and opened the window a crack to get some air. Let me tell you: it was glorious. However, metro bus windows are designed in such a way that an open window does not create a draft for the person sitting in the seat directly next to it but rather the person seated opposite the aisle from said window. Therefore, the lady trying to read the paper across from me was the one who was the recepient of the beautiful breeze. I felt bad so I closed the window, but this caused me to continue perspiring like a fat, hairy man in a sauna.

I took a Kleenex out of my purse and dabbed mopped my face and neck with it. I took the barrette out of my hair and pinned my bangs back with it. I pulled my hair rubberband out of my bag and put my hair up into a ponytail. I rolled up the sleeves of my long-sleeved dress shirt. I grabbed the tissue again and, proper public behavior be damned, reached around to soak up the sweat from my upper back. I tried to envision being in Antarctica.

I thought about yelling up to the bus driver to turn the air conditioning on, but one - I would never have the guts to do that (I don't even have the nerve to keep the window open lest I disturb anyone else!) and two - it was 63 degrees this morning. Normal people don't need to have the air on.

I, however, am not normal. I am a sweaty, sweaty freak.

I am going to be so tired tomorrow.

To those of you who subscribe to this blog via Bloglines, first of all - thank you! And second of all, if you're coming to read the "Great Life Question #6a" post I just put up, I erased it.

I was laying in bed and I thought, "Stop whining, you little baby. No one wants to hear about how you're a big loser." So I decided to take the post down and deal with my issue like a big girl - on my own. I'll be asking your advice on other things in the future though - of that you can be sure.

Now to get some sleep and dream up a post actually worth sharing.