Angry Banana's Back!

Some of you may have been wondering where Irritated, Bitter, Move-the-Hell-Out-of-the-Way-Before-I-Whip-Out-My-Effing-iPod-Earbuds-and-Beat-You-With-Them Banana has been lately? I was wondering the same thing myself, to be honest. I looked back on the past few months worth of posts for stuff to add to my "That's One Pissed Off Banana!" list in the sidebar, but alas, nothing. All happy posts. What the hell was going on??

(I don't have an answer for you, other than the arrival of spring. The warmer weather does its magic on my soul. A soul that hates the cold weather and I don't care if I grew up in fucking Upstate New York, this does not mean I like the snow!)

Well, today that old "I Hate People" feeling is aflame within my core once again. Hallelujah.

The book for this month's book club breaks our rules for two reasons. One, it's only in hardcover and two, it's on the best seller list. There's a waiting list 25 people deep at the library. So what do I do? I decide I'm going to buy it on eBay because it was hella cheap and I love me a Good Deal. I won the bid. I was excited.

Now, 14 "mail delivery" days after receiving my notification of shipment, no book has reached my anxious little hands. My first email to the seller went unreturned, so I looked him up this morning. 11 negative reviews (mixed in with 5 positives). PayPal account has been suspended. Phone number? Disconnected. He's not returning anyone's emails, according to the other reviews. And you can't even leave feedback anymore because his account is shut down. My only option? File a complaint. Grrrrrr.

I haaaate when people whistle in public. I just don't get it. Why do you think we want to hear you?? WHY?!? My boss has been playing music at his desk for the last couple of workdays and sometimes he whistles to it. I sit like 6 feet away from him. Occasionally he even starts singing. (Surprise, surprise: also a pet peeve on mine.) Yeah, we all get it: you're happy. Good for you. But we don't need listen to you trying to quietly squeek out the chorus of "Don't Panic" by Coldplay. Gah.

Some people apparently think they are above the law in Washington (ahem). Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney decided she could get into one of the House office buildings without her I.D. badge recently - and when the Capitol police officer asked her to stop three times, she ignored him. Allegedly, when he grabbed her, she hit him. (I would've loved to have seen this.)

Now, I work two blocks from the Capitol and I've been in those buildings before. It's intimidating. There are cops everywhere. You. Do Not. Forget. Your Badge. I know, I know, she's a Congresswoman. People should just know who she is. Kiss her feet. Give her only the green M&Ms. Whatever. But dude. If they're yelling after you to stop, don't you think you'd listen? And now she's claiming rascism and "innappropraite touching." Does she not think that if someone else tried to come into the building without some I.D. that they wouldn't be stopped, too? It'll be interesting to see how this one plays out.

And finally: Has anyone else heard the big news story these days in South Africa about former deputy president Jacob Zuma? (This guy was fired under a "cloud of corruption" last June. Good times.) Well, he is been accused of raping an HIV-positive family friend. He did not wear a condom because he believed that the risk from unprotected sex with someone who is HIV-positive was relatively small. But lots of people in Africa think this, right? Lack of education is the reason that AIDS is so prevalent in poorer nations. But the kicker? He used to be the head of the country's National AIDS Council.

What the eff is wrong with people?!?