To Sell or Not to Sell, that is the question...
I have to thank you all of the advice on my condo-mortgage-moving situation. Seriously, you guys rock! The blogosphere can be a wonderful place, no? Oui.
(By the way, Bogs - your comment made me laugh out loud but I think I'm going to keep writing things in French anyway, if you can handle it. Heck, I spent my Fourth of July laying on the couch eating Chinese take-out and wondering what the hell everyone finds so fascinating about fireworks. I'm not exactly the poster child for blind patriotism... "I hate France because I've heard we should hate France! Freedom fries! Freedom toast! Woooooo!" Ha ha...)
To respond to many of your suggestions that perhaps Boyfriend should move in with me:
| BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE | BANANA'S CONDO |
| 1650 sq. ft. house | 740 sq. ft. condo |
| 4 bedrooms (one is currently The Office, one is The Poker Room) | 1 bedroom |
| 2 full bathrooms | 1 full bathroom |
| Fenced-in yard perfect for puppies | Community yard not good for nuthin' |
| Lots of random storage areas, including a shed | Every possible area already filled with stuff - and no room for more unless it is in the form of cute shoes! |
If my place was adequate for the two of us, that would've been great because Boyfriend's house's value has gone up by oodles of noodles since he bought it 5 years ago. If he sold it and pocketed that money, we'd be able to pay off my little place and still have money left over! (Hmmmm...that sounds nice!) But then again, we'd be living in a space not meant for two people who like plenty of personal space and we'd probably end up killing each other, which kind of defeats the purpose.
Interestingly enough, the Washington Post had an article about this today! (Do they read my blog??) It says that the prices to buy homes in our area are so expensive that it's driving people to rent until prices go back down to a more reasonable level.
This is good for me if I want a renter, which I do believe would be the ideal choice. If I do that, I can continue to watch the condo's value rise, benefit from the tax breaks, and still have a place to move back into if Boyfriend and I decide that this whole "seeing you every day for the next, oh, FOREVER" isn't such a great idea after all.
This is such a huge, huuuuge life change so I think advice-asking is going to become somewhat of a regular feature of the Liberal Banana.
Today's Living Together question is: How do you and your significant other/spouse/roommate handle meal planning and grocery shopping?
37 fruit lovers (or haters) had something to say...
My house is a big clusterfuck and we have no organization or sense of responsibility to the point that it's driving me crazy, so I am not able to give advice at this point!
Since I am now no longer working full-time, I'm the one who does all the meal planning and grocery buying...but now my husband works noon to nine pm so I never have to cook dinner! SO nice! Sorry, I'm not much help.
I am going to do a blog post on things I think are overated... and fireworks displays are near the top of the list.
Dump your boyfriend and move to North Alabama with me. We can get a gianormous double wide and put it on a huge piece of land while our real house is being built. Lot's of room for dogs.
My condo was only 450 sq feet so your's is plenty big enough for two. In fact, my ex neighbors (425 sq feet) lived in their condo with the husband, wife AND a little doggy.
Am with you on many levels here: We cancelled all plans for the 4th and stayed home and LOVED IT!
Personal space is a wonderful thing in a healthy relationship...
And, who ever doesn't cook, does the dishes. We take turns cooking and shopping. When one has a busier schedule than the other, the one with the lighter schedule does it all, because we know it will come full circle. It's about respecting eachother and supporting one another. It takes a little bit of time to fall into a rhythmn too, so patience is good...patience is always good.
OMG - bigness! hugeness! I take a few days off for holiday and look what I miss!! I'm so excited for you - but also a tiny bit scared. Please have an open mind and recognize that - although advice is great - you are a bit more particular than your average bear. :) That's ok though - you'll just need out of the box approaches to some things and it'll be all good! It will be so fun and so worth the compromises!
You so don't want to hear how Husband and I handle meal planning. It's VERY old fashioned. Despite the fact that we both work fulltime (and that my fulltime is fuller than his on account of my 2 hour roundtrip daily commute) I still do all of the grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking. The extent of his participation is me asking what he will be in the mood for at 5pm each day when he calls to tell me that he is home already. You know what? I love it! You know why? Because I haven't touched a dirty dish in the whole two years we've been married! Not even on Thanksgiving! I HATE dishes and he is a horrible cook! Now I eat great meals and never have to clean up after myself! Yeaaaaaaa!
Hubs and I have an agreement that the first person home from work get the honor (snort) of making dinner for the rest of us. It works out well for me because unless he's on overtime, he's home a full hour before me!
As for grocery shopping, when it was just the two of us, we'd go about once a week and decide what we thought we needed for food that week. We also ate a lot of Dominoes.
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You should totally rent out your condo, even if you can't get quite as much rent to cover the monthly mortgage. Hopefully, you can get close.
1. It *will* help make you rich after you have it all payed off and are still getting someone else to pay you rent on top of all that equity.
2. If the worst does happen and the living together doesn't work out between you and Boyfriend, you will still have that place.
As far as shopping and meals, do what fits into your schedules. I recommend taking turns.
Meal planning? You mean that you're supposed to plan meals? Who knew? Obviously not me, based on our last dinner together.
What was the next question? Oh, groceries. Yes, groceries. It used to be, when we lived in a small town in Colorado, that I didn't mind going to the grocery store. Perhaps that was helped by some other factors, such as: it was easy to get to, easy to park at, and never had a line that went down the aisle into the back-counter meat department. Oh, and rather than other customers becoming randomly verbally abusive, Other customers were our neighbors, and we'd actually spend time talking to each other.
Not so much here with all of that, so I have one word for you: Peapod. You and Boyfriend can both have your email addresses on the account, so when one starts an order, the other is notified too, and both of you can keep updating it until it's perfect. That way, you don't both have to coordinate schedules to get to the store at the same time or go alone and ensure that you don't forget something the other one wants.
The only thing that Peapod always screws up (read: smashes) is produce, but you'll do better to get that at Whole Foods anyway, which also eliminates some of the other problems with grocery shopping.
Mama's still a big fan of going in to the store, and for certain items, or sometimes for new recipes, it makes sense, but seriously, three words will take care of most of your groceries: Peapod. Whole Foods.
1650 sq ft???? That's palatious! you guys taking roommates? haahahahaa!
:-)
Dude if I had the option of moving to a 4br house I would SO do it. But perhaps I am just hallucinating because I am now cohabitating with another person, 2 cats, and a bunch of killer mold in my 500 sq ft basement. Ahhhhhh!
Oh, but you asked about food...I find that we have naturally fallen into very equal roles on this one. We do about 1/3 together and each do 1/3 alone (shopping and cooking). When we get the chance to cook together, we actually have a good time. Usually whoever doesn't cook does the dishes. And I try to pack up the leftovers for our lunches because I can't stand the thought of $$ going down the drain every day on our lunch hour. And I cook breakfast on the weekends because I rock at it :) Do you and the boyf have similar eating habits...that would probably be the biggest factor in how things will turn out food-wise.
Puppies?! That's a no brainer then. Stay at his place and rent yours. From the sound of it you'll have plenty of room at his place to have a puppy and lots of room to hide cute shoes from said puppy.
As for my home, since I'm the one most likely to give others food poisoning my husband does most of the cooking and I do most of the cleaning. Its not really equal since he leaves a huge mess, but at least neither of us end up in the hospital.
whatever you decide, I'm sure the place will be ideal for "freedom kissing" your boyfriend... as I said before, I've never owned a house and am not even quite sure what a mortgage is (sounds French, er, freedom - silent "t"), but you seem to be in very good hands here in Blogland... good luck!
I'm pretty lucky because the Hub is not at all picky. I could serve him a bowl of cereal (the cold kind with milk - none of this "hot" cereal crap. Besides, hot cereal is yucky.) and he'd be thrilled. Before we got married he was happy with a freezer full of frozen pizza. Now I'll cook for him, but only because I have more time to do that sorta thing. I also shop for groceries because if I didn't we'd be eating ho-hos and combos.
Banana! I've missed you! I need to catch up on the goings-on around here.
Oh, and regarding your question. Meal planning and grocery shopping? All on me, baby. All on me. (Or I'd be eating frozen burritos every night.) The upshot? J has to eat tofu and tempeh. I just may offset some of his other bad habits. Maybe.
When my husband and I moved in (pre-marriage; we are so naughty), I handled all ths shopping and stuff, because he is so very domestically challenged.
And he's always been the big bacon-bringer, so there's that.
Oooh, ooooh, did I show you this:
www.dallasksphotography.com
Hmmmm?
Yeah, he's still the bacon-bringer.
I don't know what I'm talking about. I've had a talk with Stoli Vanil. Never mind.
Oh, but Bart is a GREAT catch.
btw, contrary to popular belief, pigs can fly... they started back in the 70s... anyone who's been to a Pink Floyd concert can verify that...
Well (English accent on)Ba-na-ner(English accent off), the taking turns idea might be good unless one of you would rather die from ulcerative colitis than go grocery shopping and/or cook. Then you may have to delegate.
Yeah, I didn't think I'd be much help...
I remember about ten years ago when I lived in NoVA we military types weren't buying homes because the property values were tumbling. Now I can hardly believe how much appreciation the area has seen.
Meal planning? Surely you jest.
Meal planning? Screw that! Live for the moment, LB!
I can't answer your question right now, because I'm too busy coming up with rude jokes about the 'Poker Room.' Gawd, I'm such a teenaged boy.
We try to think of at least 4 meals to make during the week before we go to the grocery store (then we have an excuse to eat out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!!). When we are both working, we both do the grocery shopping together, because we both hate it. J makes dinner because he gets home first. He kind of cleans up as he goes so I do what's left of the cleaning up. Unless I don't feel like it.
Hee, "planning." Um ... it really depends on our budget for the week. I'm the one who makes most of the meals so I make out the list, he complains about it, and then we brave the supermarket together. Usually, 25% of the shit we end up getting wasn't even ON the damn list, and we inevitably forget something that WAS on there...
I'm thinking our "system" needs an overhaul.
Your blog followers are friggin hilarious. Sweatpants mom's comment about rude jokes for the poker room - now that is good humor.
I'm totally w/you on moving in w/Boyfriend, then. When Hubby and I first got married, we lived in a small apartment, and there was literally no place to escape to. Now that we live in a 3 story house, things are much better!!
As for meal planning and grocery shopping - meal planning is definitely easier in the summer than in the winter. Summertime it's something on the grill outside every day that it's not raining, so that's a piece of cake. Otherwise, I'll usually ask Hubby what he feels like eating that week before I go food shopping. Then whoever gets home first makes dinner. The dishwasher handles the clean-up (a must have for every couple's sanity and peace). I am the one that usually goes food shopping b/c I'm really anal about what brands to buy, etc and Hubby will usually just buy anything and come home with 30 things NOT on the list.
Oh, here's another tip that I find particularly helpful in Living Together: I keep a magnetic pad of paper on the fridge. Whenever either one of us runs out of an item in the house, we have to write it on the list so that when I go to the food store, I can pick up the item. Otherwise, I would never know when we're out of say, soap b/c Hubby used the last one and I didn't know about it!
I hate grocery shopping/cooking with the heat of a 1000 suns. I could live off of soup and cereal. For real. But BF like to eat and would prefer not to starve and therefore utters the mst glorious phrase in the universe,
"I'm going to teh store - want anything?" variant on this is "do we need anything?"
He aslo does the dishes.
The trade off is I clean just about everythign else...including (ack) the toilet. But at least I am not grocery shopping!
The cats and I eat entirely different foods, so it hasn't been a problem. :)
I grocery shop 100% of the time (because I can't afford to take him with me, he wants to buy all kinds of crazy crap) but our cooking is split 50/50. And whoever cooks the other does the dishes and cleans the kitchen. It's worked pretty good for the past 7 1/2 years so I try not to mess with something that isn't broken. Good luck to ya!
*oh and definaltly find a renter....
I am soooo glad that I am not the only person on the planet who thinks that fireworks are stupid. Yay us!
As for meal planning and grocery shopping, we found it easiest to delegate it to me but I put a list on the fridge. If Hubby forgets to put his diet coke or whatever on that list, he can't come crying to me when we're out. And I keep some soup and frozen dinners on hand for days when I just don't feel like cooking. (Do not ask how often that is.)
We don't "meal plan" because we don't really have the time or energy to actually cook, but I do all the shopping because I LOVE the grocery store and he HATES it. It's a warehouse of food, what's not to love? Anyway, I make him write down everything he wants me to get for him (in other words, things I won't eat like hot dogs and lunch meat----EWWWWWWW), and everything else is stuff we'll both eat like salad stuff and boca burgers. Not sure if that helps?
We also keep our finances separate even though we're married. I take care of paying the bills (I actually like paying the bills? WTF?) and he gives me cash out of every paycheck. It works out quite nicely. Money is one thing we never fight about.
Real estate is freaky around here. Lots of people are renting. A friend rented her townhouse out in about two days. Good luck!
I'm on week 3 of 40 of building works to my house. I'm just going to go lie down ... and cry.
Let's see...shopping is usually done together, after cutting out coupons from the Sunday paper. Except during extremely busy times, or when boyfriend is travelling then I do the shopping alone. But coupons ROCK, it's definitely worth getting the Sunday paper.
I'm not sure if we ever really PLAN meals, per se. It's usually just like, "So what do you want for dinner tonight?"
We have the added challenge of one meat-eater and one veggie-head! Sometimes we have meals together consisting of different food choices; other times we eat the same thing. Luckily boyfriend is not as picky as I am so I can say, "How about perogies tonight?" and he will say, "Sure, whatever."
We also eat out waaaaay too much.
I plan all the meals, cook all the meals, and buy all the groceries...I'm super housewife! About once a week we go out to eat dinner and I get a little break. But to be fair, many times I cop out and go for heating up some frozen dish. Quick and easy.
We went to see Devil Wears Prada instead of fireworks. Fireworks are a colossal waste of time and taxpayers' money. Mr. J. only eats 8 or 9 things. (Perhaps I will explain later.) I like to eat more than 8 or 9 things. Hence, I grocery shop and cook for moi, and if I am feeling generous, I will pick up a few of his chosen edibles - yogurt, bran cereal, oatmeal, skim milk, etc., It's a very strange, "every person for him or herself" thing around our house. However, when we got engaged, I moved in with him into his 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment. I won't lie. It was rough. One day I burst into tears because his two bikes were suspended from the ceiling and I said, "This is a BOY'S apartment!" Nothing like a meltdown to trigger a guilt-induced shopping spree. I highly recommend it.
740 square feet sounds giant to me. Then again, my place is 380 square feet, so my size-perception is a little off.
Back in the day when I lived with a dude, I put grocery lists together, he picked them up, and I did all the cooking. It was the perfect arrangement for me because I love to cook and hate to shop.
Now? We just go out to eat. My kitchen's so small that I get a little claustrophobic when it's time to cook. Plus I'm never here long enough to justify buying perishable foods.
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